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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1872. page
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Hey, /adv/. For almost a year, I've been cleaning myself extra thoroughly when I shit. I will first wipe my ass normally, then do the following:

>take out 2 squares of tp, fold it 3 times
>wet it slightly, just 2 or 3 drops of water
>cover my middle finger with the paper
>insert it into my ass and clean in a circle
>take it out and inspect the paper

I will repeat this process as many times as it takes...
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start taking fiber supplements
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>>16629409
You should not be inserting digits into your ass. The sphincter reflex can be weakened by doing this and could cause incontinence or even a prolapse.
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>>16629409
I'm in a routine where I take a shit in the mornings before I take a shower.
If I do happen to shit during the day, I wipe normally and finish off with baby wipes.
I've prolly converted 6 people to the baby wipe technique.
They all thought it was funny until they tried it themselves and see how much "dirt" is left after normal wiping.

Don't insert stuff in your ass, also get some fiber and maybe try and work out a bit, jogging can help with bowel movements.
Goodluck!

Can swinging change lives?

I've had fantasies for a while about swinging and I know my girlfriend would be down for it. We regularly cam as a couple and it's a lot of fun for us.

I was wondering, there are people on this planet who cannot fulfill the basic need of sex in their lives, I've had to opportunity to do it so much so that it has deviated to another level. I enjoy the control of being able to throw sex around with my woman if I wanted to, have you had any experiences with a couple that changed you? It feels nice knowing you can be unforgettable in a person's life, especially being associated with pleasure and submissiveness.

Thoughts?
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It's going to be pretty funny having you come back here crying when you fuck up your relationship
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>>16629357
Can't wait for you to change your tune after your girl bones a 10 inch black bull and losses all interest in you sexually
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>>16629357

relationships will end either way. if she wants to leave you because she wants to sleep with other people and not you, that will happen regardless of if you sleep with other people or not.

so if you both want to swing, go for it. yes, swingers have a really high rate of breaking up, but so do monogamous couples. so just do what makes the two of you happy.

keep in mind you dont have to 'swing' per se, you can just do group sex. if im not mistaken swinging involves switching partners.

the...
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Help /adv/ i dont know what the fucks wrong with me.
Im basically a miserable fuck all the time and i hate it, i could win a mil tomorrow and id still be a spiteful, hatefucked angery cunt.
I feel like i just cant be happy and i cant seek help i just dont know how to deal with this shit.
Last week i got really drunk and i tried to stab my friend just to get him to fight me, he didnt do anything wrong i just wanted him to fucking hit me get the adrenaline flowing to clear my mind, he wouldnt do it and eventually i passed out after having a breakdown in front of the girl...
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you're a fucking idiot
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>>16629369
>you're a fucking idiot
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>>16629330
Sounds like you are self-destructing like I did when I was about 15. I just stopped myself from acting like an asshole when I was drinking (It's not that hard). Also just find something that you enjoy at school or work and focus yourself more.

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Or stop wanting to watch it in the first place, I mean.
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Get cucked. You will remember the feelings you get and it will turn you off of it.
>>
Stop watching porn.
Start working out and try to work on your confidence.
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>>16629343
>stop watching porn
I REALLY can't do that.

How can I work on my confidence? I'm already pretty fit.

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Guy with a severe lack of self-confidence here, which is justified to some degree.
I'm shorter than average. Skinny no muscle. Incredibly pale. Apparently a good looking face according to my friends girlfriends so not so sure about that. Hair that looks good and bad.
Thanks to rough early teenage ears sociably retarded but not 100% autismal, just imagine meeting me on the buss and only bring up school and stuff. Not the case with close friends, but even those ive known for many years i always resort to mutual schoolwork/games/whatever.

My friend and his gf have made this 10/10 (imo) very interested in me. She lives 2 hours away though. And our only communication with each other is via snapchat. Been sending me every day recently and I try to asnwer as well as possible. Declined an invite to her friends new years party last night. Now I believe people have painted a false image of me to her. And frankly I cringe whenever I see the message light because I would rather be more comfortable not having to worry about that stuff. Got an unopened one atm.

Though my common sense and experience of escapism tells me to not let something like this slip by. But I just do not know how to handle it all. The main concern ofc is the social ability which I lack. The thought of meeting her friends, and her for that matter, whom I do not know frightens me. I just do not see a situation where I would be able to handle it. Plus my friends once drew the parrallel of her being intense drum 'n' base while im some slow jazz, if that adds to the picture.

After meeting her once real quick when I was sick etc she had told our mutual friend I was boring. But they reignited the interest oddly. Apparently shes made jokes about sending me nudes to said friend etc.

Now I guess it isnt about the girl, but rather how I would go about as the kind of person I am. And I would only look upon a failed chance with regret in the future.
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You should try to improve what you can improve.
> I'm shorter than average
How tall are you? Shorter than the average girl? If you aren't, there's basically no problem.

>Skinny no muscle.
Why don't you exercise?

>Incredibly pale.
I like pale skin, and I adore it on guys.

>Hair that looks good and bad.
Go and get a cut that suits your face. Ask your friends' girlfriends for advice, if you need it.

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>>16629306
Alcohol helps remove the barriers between what you're thinking and what you're saying. Just one or two drinks should do it.
This should be how you get to know her, not the only way you can interact with her, you don't want to end up like that Indian guy from The Big Bang Theory.
Once you get to know her and you're more comfortable with her, you shouldn't need the alcohol.

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Where's a non faggy place I can I ask academic and uni related questions?

Coming close to choosing my major, so I have lots of questions regarding that. Going to do SOMETHING in STEM, and idk what yet.
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/sci/ is actually pretty non cancet

I'm studying economics. Other people in my class are talking about working in audit. But I'm not sure about audit.

Other than audit, what fields/career paths do you think I should condiser?
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Fraud, analytics, go for a CPA, data informatics, big data analytics.

CPA would be the big fucking feather in the cap, OP. I'd also go and poke around /biz/ for additional feedback
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economics is hella ambiguous. most of it is useless sociology and redundant in data analytics. from your photo looks like you might be into economic history/macroeconomic theory, in which case I'd recommend you look into working for the DOL or a similar government agency.

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how do you make new friends? I have no one to talk to and I don't feel comfortable going anywhere because I'm always alone, and I'm sick of spending new years eve with just myself. how do you get to meet new people?
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Join a club and talk to people. If you're shy just be yourself and power through it.
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>>16629204
Join a club related to your interests

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How do I legally get castrated?

I am in the United States, but I just want to get rid of my sexual urges and become asexual.
4 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Find jebus and join a monastery.
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>>16629194
Piss off a girl good enough and she will chop ur dick off. Almost happened to me. GL, anon
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>>16629194
any doctor would be willing to arrange a vasectomy or chemical castration for you if you asked. However I should warn you that sexual urges come from hormones produced in the brain, not the testes, so doing that won't actually make you asexual.

Sorry m8 but you're stuck with that caveman brain.

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Guys, I fucked up real bad.
I got convinced to go out and spend on NYE drinking with some of my friends like a fucking normie.
We had absolutely great time and all so I got an idea to call this one girl to come join us.
This girl - she is absolutely fucking fantastic and I fucking love her like no other. We are seeing each other for quite some time now but both of us being fucking weird and borderline spergs, it never got 'official' nor did we explicitly confess our feelings.
Now, she somehow agreed and came, we were drinking together, having a blast...
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>>16629182
Either apologize or go with it. Ask her striaght how she feels. You can't change what happened so freaking out about it won't help. Stop the drama and go ask her. If you're really that close to her you can still make it work and be friends.
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>>16629182
>like a fucking normie
>>
you fucked up bro.

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I'm planning to go visit some clubs to see if any of them interest me.
I haven't had any friends for years, and I also never went to clubs - this will be my first time.

This is my first attempt at socializing in years. What should I know? What do I do upon entering the club premises? How do I enter the club's social circle?
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desu clubs aren't really that fun. The one's I've been too are a bit like high school -- they're really cliquey and everyone's trying to show off and act like they're some shit in order to get laid.

If you don't walk in with some friends, nobody's going to want to talk to you. You'll probably get alot of weird looks, at the least.

Find a laid back bar instead. Sit at the counter, and grab a drink. Strike up a conversation with the bartender and if becomes interesting, somebody else might pipe in. Boom. You've got...
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>>16629245
>find a bar

I don't drink alcohol and usually have nothing in common with people who go to bars, though.
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>>16629286
Then your just going to a club to dance?

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There's a constant disturbing noise in my ear. It's like there's a car outside with its motor on. It's driving me mad. Anyone had this before?
7 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Tinnnitus maybe. See a doctor.
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>>16629146
Water in your ear. Bend your head horizontally, put a finger in your ear and move it around until it stops.
>>
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>>16629146
If it is bothering you too much, see a doctor.

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what do you usually do before a first/second date? Like, I'm always nervous and I need to calm down so I Iisten to some music. Never fapped though, I think It could make things worse
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I usually try to keep myselfe busy with grooming, cleaning up, running errands, watch netflix. stuff like that. I guess it's normal to be nervous and even rather cute. My bf just straight up told me he's was nervous on our first date and he told me he's still a bit ancious everytime we meet but that it's gone the second we actually see each other. I think that's absolutely adorable! The girl will probably be nervous too, so no harm done.

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Is it bad that if my girlfriend didn't have 34DDs, we probably wouldn't have gotten together?

It's cool now, but that played a huge factor initially. No pun haha.
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idk about that but almost no women are actually 34DD, it's one of the most common sizes worn by women in the US who have been lied to about bra sizes

if you love those tatas, please direct her to reddit.com/r/abrathatfits so she can be comfy
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Oh shit opie, you said "34DDs" and I thought it might be a new gaming console or something. And then I thought "what does this have to do with a butterfinger bar?"

P.S follow that guy's advice. Bras are a pain in the ass. Can be very painful. I'm not sure how bigger tittied women pull it off, shopping for and wearing bras. For littler tittied people like me, I just throw on a sports bra

Do you like her butt? Has she let you lick her boobs? Why do you predominantly like boobs and not ass?
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>>16629143
She's got them both. She's Japanese and I didn't think natural tits could get that big so she sortve hit me as a rare catch.

Don't get me wrong, the girl and I are very compatible. But if she had no T&A, I'd probably be less inclined to put up with the inevitable relationship bullshit.

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I don't know where I should be going with this so I want some thoughts first. Lately it feels like my heart is off. I normally have a high blood pressure, and lately it feels like one part of my heart beats, then quickly after the rest beats. I'm not sure what to make of it. Is this normal?
4 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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That'd be so dope if those were real.
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>>16629100
Its called a palpatation its an irregular heart beat alot of people have it to some sort or intermitant arithmia if high blood pressure you should see a doc.. they will most likely put you on beatblockers ..

>>16629102
My wife is like that pic bro ..maybe 15 lb. Heavier tho ;)
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>>16629110
**beta blockers lol

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