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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1818. page
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File: paper towel.jpg (21 KB, 355x305) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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My girlfriend and I are finally at the stage where she brought out the plastic folding bar that looks kind of like a paper towel dispenser. Ours was white with two rectangular halves, one for me with three half-ball indentations, and one for her with ridged slots.

She laid it out on the table and I pressed my balls into some of the indentations and laid my dick across the other, and she unzipped her pants and crouched over it. Four inches of material resembling raw chicken skin came from her vagina and filled the ridges. With the green dot appearing on the display, she said the outcome was confirmed and pulled the material back into her body.

So what just happened? I've looked all over the internet. Are we compatible or not?
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>>16662300
uuuuh wtf?
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You should probably dump her bro

File: rey.png (779 KB, 721x541) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I have a girl coming over in an hour and I want to fuck her. Help pls.
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Need more details
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Put her penis in your vagine.

Your welcome.
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Its a friday night. A girl is coming over to your house, she is probably thinking the same thing

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How the fuck does one get a credit card?

Google has left me in a labyrinth of misinformation and advice.
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>>16661811
Get a job.
>>
if you can't figure it out then you probably shouldn't have one.
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>>16661811
You post your details on /b/ and moot is required to give you one by law. You get discounts on Bad Dragon and Onahole purchases, and the bill is sent to you in shekels each month.

Go to, senpai!

File: 1405879863450.png (223 KB, 417x635) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Anyone here have anxiety about sex and any recommendations on how to deal with it?
>be me
>look at porn when i'm bored
>jerk off like once a day
>every time i cum tell myself it's the last time 'cause i have to "store up" some cum for my next sexual encounter
>dry spell for the last like seven months but still wanna hose down the next girl i fug because cum fetish

Now here's the...
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where's that image from?

also stop jacking off. it'll help you a lot if you just do it once or twice a week max.
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Why the hell do people want a large load? I mean it's great for fetishes and getting pregnant, but most people just want some good lovin's and minimized pregnancy rates.
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>>16661372
Honestly I'm not sure of the source, anon. I'm sorry. So once or twice a week, huh?

>>16661513
Pretty much solely for the purpose of how it looks and feels. I love the amount, being able to really paint a girl in it. Enough that she can feel how much is shooting into her and clinging to her pussy.

File: poppy.jpg (44 KB, 495x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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how do i keep my vagina squeeky clean and sweet tasting?
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Not possible.
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what i already do:
>clean eating
>exercise
>daily shower
>wet toilett-wipes
>use specially designed intimate wash that has the right ph
>use moisturizing cream after showering that's designed for the vaginal area
>keep pubes trimmed
>use a vaginal douche after sex or after my period to clean out any "stuff"...
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Shave it, clean it regularly. The outside with soap, the inside with water so the beneficial bacteria can do their job. Eat LOTS of fruits. Fruits make your secretions taste like fruit similar to cum.

File: Psychic.jpg (502 KB, 2400x2400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>go pick up my gf at her grandmas
>before going inside her house she tells me not to say my last name around her or her family
>she tells me they're "special"
>she tells me she already heard enough from them roasting her for having a bf with a last name like mine
>her whole family on mom's side are racist, classist cunts and were talking shit about me

I'm probably gonna be in a situation...
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What is it about your name?
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>>16662686
Its a pretty common last name in the city and sometimes people associate it with lower class.
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>>16662703
Is it Nigger? It is, ain't it?

File: wat.png (66 KB, 627x334) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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What the fuck do if my period starts on the last pill?
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Continue as normal.
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>>16662316
Order more before it comes to that.
>>
sometimes I'd have my period happen in the middle of the set of pills. I just took the pills as directed. Sometimes I had a second period when I was "supposed" to and sometimes I didn't.

Just start the new pack even if you're on your period. Your period had it's chance....

File: image.jpg (28 KB, 640x706) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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But worried if I do, she will literally either kill herself or hurt someone in some way. Long story short, I started dating this girl over a year ago. First girlfriend I've ever had. And then I learned about her insane amount of baggage. Most of it isn't even her fault. I just landed a truly crazy one and now I don't know what to do. I love her. She's a good person. And I will feel immoral for leaving her. But I can't do it. I'm going crazy and I just want to end this now.. I'm thinking about doing it today.. I'll keep you all updated...
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What would you tell a woman in an abusive relationship to do?
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>>16661476

Can you explain please?
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If she doesn't kill herself she will just suck the soul out of some other dude. But let's be honest, women rarely kill themselves. At worst she will swallow 6 Tylenols and tell you she did it.

I dated a girl who played the suicide card, eventually called her bluff. She never killed herself, but she has dated several guys since and as far as I'm sware has cheated on several of them.

File: image.jpg (53 KB, 480x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Girl texts me "hey!" I replied "hey(her name here), what's up?" She replied "watching tv you?" What do I say now? Would saying something like "contemplating life, lol jk so how was your day?" Be stupid or kinda funny and out of the norm to keep her interested
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I love /adv/ beause of these fucking dumbass first world teen problems
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>>16662428
Jesus christ anon, you say what you are doing and talk shit. Not this "just contemplating life" shit. If a chick sent that to you, what would you think? "Fuck this dude is interesting and deep" or "who the fuck messages someone that". If your answer isn't the latter god help you. Just talk about shit, what you have in common, events you have coming up, get her to babble about herself, most chicks love that shit. To your credit you were close, if you aren't actually doing anything...
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>>16662435
Eat my ass. What do you want me to ask? Want me to say, " a fucking African Warlord is after me , where should I hide?"

I had huge resentment and rage for women because of countless betrayal in relationships. I realize something 2 months ago.

First gf cheated on me, thing is i was trying to make it work for 6 months and things didn't change on her part, i should of dumped her sooner instead of being a desperate/dumb fuck trying to keep something alive that's long was dead.

Second gf, she had kids and an abusive baby's father. She'd always tell me how he'd try to harrass her and i'd try a lot of times to convince her not to go back to him, i was always...
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>>16662336
I'm so glad you are thinking like this. I cannot tell you how annoying it is when a guy figures out I am submissive and thinks I am just going to submit to him because of that. Gotta earn that shit, gotta be a dom to get the sub to come out of me. Pun intended

As far as that is concerned though, it depends on what kind of things she is into. What kind of sub
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>Guys my current gf likes a man who leads the relationship and she likes to be submissive, how can i do that?

she is in a relationship with you already, probably because she likes you the way you are

if you try to fake something just to please her, then I think you two are going in a wrong direction

if she specifically want a guy who is good at being dominant, she shouldn't even have started a relationship with you
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>>16662341

thank you 2 years of my life were a lie, playing victim. I totally agree no woman is just suppose to submit you, a lot of the guys who wish they had submissive gfs, the gf got way bigger balls than they do(figuratively ofcourse lol)

Not sure what kind of sub she is yet, what kinds are there.

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>22 year old kissless virgin from /fit.
>See 7/10 qt mirin
>Work up the nerve to say hi
>Have awkward, conversation about the weather
>Scamper off before I spill my spaghetti
>Mfw I literally have no clue how this works

Can someone explain what exactly I'm supposed to do around wymen? Am I supposed to start flirting with them on the spot or what?
22 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Just pretend that you see female individuals as if they were actual humans.
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>Actual humans
Won't help. I'm autistic and generally have trouble interacting with everyone.
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>>16662130

Every girl you talk to is actually a pre-op trans man. She has a dick.

> Just introduce yourself
> Ask her name
> Ask her if she lives around here or some other inane basic question
> Listen for things that you might know a little about and think of questions to ask about it.
> When in doubt, ask a question and feign intense interest when possible.
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File: stitch.png (2 MB, 999x1587) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Hey /adv/,

I had a mole on my ass that bothered me very much due to its placement so I got it removed mostly for aesthetic reasons. This mole had been on my body for at least 10 years and it messed my self esteem pretty bad to the point I had sex with the lights off and when there would be light, I wouldn't do certain positions so that the mole wasn't visible. I was always conscious that it was there, I had that on my body - despite what I was doing, it just sort of popped into my head *my mole is there*. Recently I had the chance to removed and I did.. I was...
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14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Holy fuck that's some weak shit, OP.
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>>16661133
So... We could say that we're looking at a picture of your ass?

Anyway, it shouldn't be too noticeable after it heals.
>>
I'm assuming you're female. A slight scar on the ass is something most guys will never notice. We just don't look for that sort of thing

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How do I become a guy like Donald Trump? I'm just using him as an example because he's popular right now. basically, how do I "worship" myself? I don't necessarily want to do that, but I feel like with my personality now, mixed with a little of that, I'll find a happy medium where I have healthy confidence and self esteem.
20 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Im in a similar boat as you. I want to live for myself and not think about anyone else. I want to be at the extreme, because those are the people who seems to most happy. I want to impose myself on others and force them to listen to me. I'm done admitting I'm wrong all the time and letting other people mentally rape me.
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>>16660482
>done admitting I'm wrong all the time and letting other people mentally rape me.

Op here
This the most.
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>>16660464
What you're asking for is how to be narcissistic. Narcissism is a negative personality trait that is more of a natural thing. I don't think you can just make yourself narcissistic.

My dad's an alcoholic, and I hate him.
I feel trapped because I can never hate him completely.
Does anyone understand this feeling?
Does anyone come from a similar situation?

Honestly, I could probably write an essay about everything that's going on but I'll leave it to those four sentences.
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File: 48P.jpg (267 KB, 818x546) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Go to an Alateen / Al-Anon meeting. It's a support group for relatives of alcoholics.
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>>16662227
Never heard about this before. Thanks for telling me.
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>>16662212
I hated my father until I stopped feeling anything for him at all.

I had more reaction when I ran out of cereal than when someone told me he died.

I don't regret it at all. I still think he's a total scumbag.

Don't worry too much about it anon. Whatever you do is probably fine. Though it might be more difficult if you have pleasant memories of him as well.

File: 1452279019172.jpg (208 KB, 960x960) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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last summer i found myself really interested in the chinese violin. i played piano for 8 years as a child and i really missed playing an instrument, so i picked it up and started learning 7 months ago.

i really enjoy playing the instrument and it's something i could see myself doing for a long time. however, when people find out that i play they usually think it's really bizarre. i'm a really well rounded individual, i play sports, dress well, go to a good college, etc, but people seem really off put by the fact that i'm learning an ancient chinese...
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tldr:
>not asian
>learning ancient chinese instrument, growing interest in traditional chinese music
>don't talk about it much, but when people find out they think its weird
>start to feel guilty of trespassing in another culture
>don't know what to do

help
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File: treble.png (10 KB, 295x582) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Think about it from another perspective:

Most Asian families try to encourage their kids to learn Western Instruments: typically piano or violin.

If you think about it, that's pretty weird too. They've got a rich musical history to draw upon but they're using Western Instruments as a sort of status symbol for wealth and education.

This may sound a bit heavy-handed, but the world NEEDS people like you who are somewhat obsessed with obscure facets of history and culture.

Without people like you being deeply involved, these fragments...
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>>16661854
w2c that jacket?

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