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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1798. page
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File: 1312696212286.jpg (148 KB, 1000x748) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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how do i get a g/f like this?
11 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16673872
Get a time machine and travel back to 2000.
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>>16673872
I have someone in mind for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GevY7tLRvcY

You like?
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>>16673872
Is it a problem if she weighs 300 lbs?

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I'm a senior in highschool an I'm completely unfunny. It's been like this since freshman year, and I thought that maybe this would change with time, but I guess not. It's not so unbearable that I have no friends, but its pretty bad. if you all could share your tips that would be great. I'll start with one of the few I've figured out.

1. Don't use every opportunity to say something humorous. I find that the less I speak the more complex and well, funny, my humor becomes.

and I just remembered one more that works.

2. Humor...
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18 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Study popular comedians that regular people like. Study the content of their jokes, and delivery. Steal jokes from obscure comedians. Study improv to develop timing and quick wits. Break down the structure of jokes to develop your own.

Also, brevity is the soul of wit. Use simple words that pack a punch.

If you don't have actual cool stories, lie for the time being. Work your way towards doing cool things so you have cool stories.

Don't be a humorbot though. Otherwise people will pigeonhole you as "THE FUNNY GUY"
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>>16673850
thanks mang
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>>16673850
that seems like a lot of effort just to try to make superficial people like you.

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Hello, /adv/.

I'm not sure what to do regarding this situation. I have a friend who is struggling quite immensely.

His mother passed away in August, he is in really poor health (he can't walk due to a nerve rupture), and is facing homelessness and cannot work due to his poor health. He said he might be going into surgery. Every time I talk to him I wish this hadn't of happened to him. I've been there for him a lot. And he is my friend.

Today, he asked me what resources I'd be willing to offer. I said I'd always be his friend....
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>>16673772

Ask him about his expectations and plans for the future.

I'm from west europe and I' m sure he'd get plenty of money from the government to survive. If you are from somewhere else I don't know though.
>>
If you want to help him try to seek help for him. Where are you from, the UK? There must be some state-funded programs that could help him. You shouldn't get involved financially cause it will end badly.
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>>16673787

I live in the US. I suggested he apply for disability, but he said it takes two years. I'm not if this is actually true or not. I don't know if the US is good at taking care of people like that. I feel like I have a moral obligation to help him in some way, though. I just don't want to overextend myself. I fear that if I pay his rent or something, that he'll think that I will always be able to do so.

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in high school, I hung around with nerds and some less nerdy people (quieter people). but, ive always felt like I should've hung around with the popular kids. but, I stayed away from alcohol and cigarettes and pills etc, so I just stuck with the nerds and shit. I was good friends with some popular kids, but not major friends with them. now I'm on my last year of high school, me and all my friends are 19 so we can do some stuff together but ive always felt like I should've hung around with populat kids.

is it too late? am I fucked or nah?
15 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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I hung out with the "popular kids". Theyre usually terrible people, wish I would've just done drugs with the unpopular kids instead
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>>16673737
Start selling drugs. Then you can be friends with all the cliques, and then when people say "oh but you had so many friends in high school" and people think they were your friend. You can bitterly tell them "no fuck all those people they just wanted drugs, i don't give a shit about them" and then realize you didn't really have many friends...
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>>16673737
I was the popular jock. It makes no difference in the long run when you get older. Hang around people you have a commonality with, not the ones you wish you were. You'll always be comparing yourself and feel down when you don't meet certain standards.

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>parents would fuck with me
>find job move out
>faggot roommate was a giant cunt who stole from me, did things similar to my parents, threatened me, and overall was a lying thief who I had to get away from
>people had put things in my drinks a few times and after that I said fuck it
>had to move back in with parents and was slowly trying to get away from people I knew but on my terms
>someone...
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>>16673699
Get five grand,get an apartment in Texas,best economic place for begginers and have a new life m8.
Worked for me
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>>16673749
Is there plenty of work available there? I've heard there's a high demand for low-skill labor at oil sites with good pay.
>>
>>16673699

move out somewhere super cheap, get a full time job, get insurance and tell your gp you need to be medicated. They should give you a reference

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I have a normal life(girlfriend,friends etc..) right now i am studying software engineering, but i am bored as fuck, i play video games, role-play , exercise but everything seems pointless any good advice? or an idea of what i can do
16 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16673661
You're focused on material things. Search deeper.
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>>16673683
mmm dont you think that searching deeper was what made me think everything was pointless?

everything people do points to money, not everyone, but i dont know how i can feel better if i dont get any reward from something, maybe wanting instant reward is what is killing me
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>>16673711
>maybe wanting instant reward
That's the problem with the younger generation. Instant gratification. Be content with what you have and work towards goals. Rome wasn't built in a day.

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I'm going to lose a place to live in a next week or so. Where should I start?
12 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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full story.
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>>16673643
What are your licenses,certificates,any jobs you currently work in etc.
I can try to help out after you explain
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>>16673652
>>16673648
Well I'm a college student who lives far away from home and going to get kicked out from dorm for reasons
No degrees at the moment
Only license I have is a driver's license
I don't have a place to work, but I have worked as a lifeguard before where I still keep in touch with my manager to this day

This is all I have right now

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What 's legal?

It sounds pretty much like slavery to me- if I tell someone it'll take a 2 weeks to train them before I'm gonna pay them, that's fine right?

I can legally string them along for months if I wanted to?

Looking at internship laws and everything is pretty clear: free for all.

Just worried about inventory going missing, and people that can take orders.

I can tell some guy to cook me breakfast and then work him like a dog 8 hours a day?
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>>16673575
What kind of future prospects might employment with you open up to them? It's all about incentives when it comes to internships. If working with you can give them transferable experience or references than you can get away with working them hard and expecting them to still show up.

As far as the legality of it goes I have no idea how that works.
>>
Are you talking about hiring someone? Things can get pretty messy legally if you are not paying them. Technically if you don't pay them they are not allowed to do any "real work". Because anything they do is theirs, and since you're not paying them, you don't own their ideas or their work.
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>>16673635

Ideas? No. I need people to rip apart scrap machines.

>>16673624

full time job

File: roger roger.jpg (323 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Basically I hate myself, and I'm tired of it.
Also not sure what to do about. It shows so obviously in my life through my terrible personality, being passive-aggressive, defensive, pretentious, never taking blame for my own mistakes, even slouching and hovering over my food, making myself smaller you know? Complete lack of confidence.

But then I don't really even know what confidence is supposed to mean, just basically "you think you're awesome" right? People say "fake it till you make it", how am I supposed to pretend to feel something...
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>>
Think about this simple question very hard:

What can you do to make yourself feel proud?
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>>16673627
That's the thing, I have no idea.
Wife and kids maybe, but I'm too terrible for a girl to like me right now so that's just running in circles.

I tend to give up on things really easily, usually I get discouraged and think I'm not making fast enough progress. So as a result I have no real hobbies or activities or interests or anything, I can't even play video games because losing makes me upset. I'm not good at anything, so that's part of why I don't like myself.
>>
Read the "Manual of the warrior of light"

File: Gary Spivey.jpg (65 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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My sister is pretty attractive and people say that I look like her. Does that mean that I am also attractive or do I just look like a girl?
37 replies and 5 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Depends. Do people also say your sister is attractive?
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>>16673540
Neither, it means you two have similar features.
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>>16673545
Yeah thats what I meant, my friends all want to fuck her its kind of an uncomfortable situation

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Yo, this girl is trying to hook up with me. I think she looks alriht but I wanna know what you guys (or gals) think.
15 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>needing other people's validation for a lay
And that's why you're still here jfc
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>>16673514
A solid 6 at best. Yeah, why not give her a roll in the sack?
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>>16673520
This. You're completely pathetic. People date cause they like the other person, not to get some sense of validation.

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I've got court tomorrow, some cops found about 6gs of cannabis and a couple bongs in my friend's car. Charged both of us. None of it was mine, I denied everything, I had nothing on me. Even if my friend were to lie and say it was all mine, would there be any way I would get charged with anything? It was in his car, after all.
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guess i should include
>tfw no gf how to get girls pls help
or something
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>>16673487
His car, his property; unless you claim anything. I'm in the US, and worked for a law firm, briefly.

My sisters's mother's husband works for Nintendo, if that helps.
>>
>>16673487

Don't know whether it matters, but who was driving?

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Guys, this girl I've been talking to online, who I have met before IRL sent me a picture, and she looks sooo sexy it in. The problem is, I don't know how to be sexy through pictures and stuff. I don't want to send a dick pic, because it's not that level yet. But I just don't know how to take sexy pictures. Help

Picture somewhat related, but not her
22 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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It's awkward sending pictures of your stupid face smiling. Unless you have a great body, you can't look sexy in standard pictures as a guy.
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>>16673466
Make it that level by sending a dick pic.

Or just ask her for more.
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>>16673477

That's how I feel right now, I was hoping someone could give me tips. But fuck, I guess you are right

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1/2

What if not having a gf IS the problem?
I’m successful by any measure and try to do all the right things. I have a good job, good prospects. I save and invest my money. I’m fit, not ugly, get along great at work and with my family. I have friends literally all over the world, thanks to connections and travels. I can speak German conversationally. I like to read, hike, hunt, shoot, travel, golf and do normal things like tv. I’ve gone to church my whole life; the player/club lifestyle has NEVER appealed to me. I’m not the man that’s dropped out of society...
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>>16673456

2/2

I would never discuss these things with my friends or family for obvious reasons. The shame it would bring to bring up this problem and the sign of weakness is something I could never live with. Yet it seems like day by day it gets harder and harder. More of my classmates marry and are in LTR’s. I feel locked out of the world of love and relationships, like an outsider with no idea how to get in I know something has to change, but I don’t know what. The frustration I feel at every day seemingly...
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>>16673456
>>16673457


To top it all off, I don't even know where I'd find a girl even if I did want to get one just for the sake off it.
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>>16673456
Judging by your Pepe and 'wah I need a gf to have my life complete' I assume you have a mentality of a manchild and girls must sense that too. Or you are jyst boring. Some people don't find their second half, it's a truth you have to embrace

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Any experience with antidepressants? Been struggling on and off to live for the past 3 years. Did they work for you?
14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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I've been off and on antidepressants for 16 years. At first, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, eventually resulting into a bipolar 2 diagnosis. Honestly, 90% of them don't work. The ones that do, are minimal effectiveness if any. What worked for me before my episodes of psychosis, eating healthy, working out, and having a hobby you enjoy.
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>>16673427
SSRI's are evil. They made me so stupid I couldn't even form a rational sentence. Have you thought about taking some herbal supplements. Same-e, st johns wort, kava kava, DLPA.
>>
I was prescribed antidepressants by my doctor and never used them.
Doing fine now.
I found out I was legally blind and got my glasses shortly after being diagnosed with depression and honestly that helped so much I didn't even need to use anti depressants.
Find something you like to take your mind off of it. After I got my glasses I found that taking walks in the park really helped when I was feeling down in the dumps.

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