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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1738. page
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File: 1442223940107.jpg (137 KB, 1126x709) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I've only eaten out one gf in the past once, and it was absolutely disgusting. So gross that I've been put off doing it ever since. I'm with a girl I really like now though and want to try again because I'd be happy to make her feel really good. I'm worried it's going to be so nasty that it's gag inducing again. So two things in this thread:

1) Please post any tips/advice on how to eat out a nasty pussy convincingly or how to make it less nasty

2) Please post any advice on giving a girl good oral

Thanks!
32 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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What made it so nasty? Was it a horrible smell/taste? If so, that's not normal and you shouldn't have put your mouth there because it probably means an infection of some kind.
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>>16765497

1) The only thing I can think of is being horny as fuck so that offsets the whole nasty factor, it's all mind games, you have to kind of like getting down and dirty

2) Simultaneously lick the clit and do a "come here" motion with your middle and index finger inside her pussy. Also DO NOT wander the fuck off from the clit with your tongue. It's quite literally the only area where licking feels like anything at all.

You REALLY need to make the whole thing feel passionate and make...
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To be frank, Oral is nasty. However, if she maintains herself it is bearable if you really like a girl. Keep in mind there are many ways to please a lady, and you don't have to eat her out. Although, keep in mind sucking a dick for her is about the same as you eating her out so if she sucks your dick be grateful.

Oral takes a long time. You will be down there for 20-45 minutes. If you aren't prepared for that commitment, don't waste either of your time trying oral. Technique wise is case by case, but my main advice is to not switch up your style abruptly....
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Why is there so many stuck up fat girls? like ones that always shoot for 8-10/10 guys... I have a group of friends, who for the most part, are all nerdy as shit, cept one of our friends who despite being nerdy, is able to pick up women easily, he is always going on about how he has to beat fat girls off of him with a stick. But they don't seem to give us the time of day... he says its because all women aim high even when their dating blue book value is low, and when they get rejected over and over they blame shallowness and vapidness when they were trying to get with him...
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Its probably since they don't see themselves as fat, at least some of them anyway.
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>>16765473
He says its the whole "real women have curves" thing and the "all sizes are beautiful" bullshit. He says its made women who are fat think that they are just as attractive to everyone as a nice fit girl. He doesn't date or hook up with fat girls, he says its very very very rare him and his friends do, but it doesn't stop the fat girls from trying.
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>>16765499
Its probably because they are arrogant af. I wish some guys would grow some balls and tell them explicitly why they aren't dating them, constructive criticism and all that.

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Is the Friend Zone just a meme? Has anyone got any experience with moving from friends to a girl to dating?

>Been texting with this girl almost daily for a few months now, FB chat is approaching 7000 messages
>She really likes my attention
>I like her attention
>So far things are only playful but pretty platonic

I want more, I have been on a few "dates" with her but she seems pretty unresponsive in wanting to touch me and it's...
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>few months

Man youre dumb, if a chick doesnt like you move on and drop her. You buy a lizard and want it to fly and people tell you it doesnt "well maybe if im nice enough to it it will learn to fly". Thats you anon
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>>16765410
No, the friend zone is not a thing. It's what bitter assholes confit themselves with when someone doesn't want to fuck them.

>she seems pretty unresponsive in wanting to touch me and it's starting to piss me off. She's also not seeing other guys

Why are you angry she doesn't seem responsive? It's not her job to want to fuck you. If she doesn't, she doesn't. Her being in a relationship has no bearing on that.

Dude, if you want...
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>>16765418
The friendzone is definitely a thing. It's where clueless guys end up who don't realize girls don't like guys just because they're nice to them.
To be fair, a lot of women like to lead naive and inexperienced guys on, so they're not innocent in all this either.

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Hello /adv/ I need your help. I'm a 22 years old bisexual male and have been diagnosed with hiv two months ago. I've done all the tests I've been requested and now I'm waiting for the results before starting treatment.

The problem is I don't know if I should tell my parents. I'm in college and live with my older brother in a city 400km far from them. They don't even know I'm bi. The only reason I woud tell them is because of hiv but I don't know if I should. I can get the medication on my own so I think is not necessary to...
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>>16764875
how many people did u have sex with?
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Tell your parents. They love you and they deserve to know.
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>>16764877
Two women and five men. None since I was diagnosed.

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girls of /adv/, do you ever go through this or is it just me?

>at our couple-friends house
>sitting around in front of fire drinking
>ash flies high up on my boyfriends jeans (mid thigh)
>the girl dating our friend touches my boyfriends leg to bat off the ash

or

>playing beer pong on new years with friends
>same girl is wearing a spaghetti strapped sundress
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>>16764034

if you're saying that he ignores you when he is with this girl, then its a red flag, its looks like they're low key flirting with each other and you should keep an eye on him if he becomes more intimate with her.
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if you're with bf for less than 3-4 months, just give up and break up.
if you're with bf longer than that, tell him that you mind him acting like that around girls who act like that
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So, she prevented him from being set on fire, asked for a hand with an uncomfortable clothing issue, and converses on friendly terms in public.

...Yes, if that's all you have, you are being ridiculous.

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I am a 19 year old 6'1 165lbs white cis male with a 7 inch penor, how do I get a girlfriend?
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>>16764017
Do you have any preferences?
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>>16764017
I talk to girls
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>white cis male
Stop saying that like it mattered outside Seattle.

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>Married guy here
>went on a date with someone else yesterday.

So wife is the type that internalizes everyone elses grief to herself. Not in a selfish way; more of an empathetic way but it really affects her. Shes been very stressed lately, tho really she always dwells on stress and ruminates about bad things of the past and always has this constant negativity about her. Not outwardly, just always crying and complaining about it.

I got lots of shit happening in my life. It really went to shit career-wise and tho im normally super happy, the past 8 months have been the most stressful and depressing months of my life. I dont sleep much, im scared about my job situation, and so many plans and dreams are now either dead or unsure. Im in a really bad place right now.

Wife wants kids but shes so emotionally unstable and is already over stressed with no time that itd be a bad idea; let alone the genetic depression she has and the fact that shes 32 (i hear after about 30 the kid could be mad fuckt up).

continued in thread
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cont.

I have full honesty with her mostly, tho ive learned not to talk about things im worried about, stressed over, or what makes me upset.. cuz she'll just cry about it and get really weird. Its not her probs.. shes even internalized and got real upset over stuff that happened to people i know that she doesnt. So i just dont talk to her about stuff. She knows about my job stuff, but just not how bad its affecting me.

So i met a girl on an app and we met up. Real cute, 18 (too young for me really but w/e), and we went on a date. Nothing happened. We just...
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So what are you asking here?

Tell the girl you used her to vent, then tell your wife you cheated.
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>>16763965
But he didn't fuck her?
if your version of cheating is eating food with a girl and talking to her, your an idiot.

Part 1
I met someone and he became my best friend (im female, his male) we spent most our spare time together having so many interests in common. i had a boyfriend who was always working and when he was home just wanted to be on his computer (we're both gamers) we hadnt spent much time together as he only wanted to play single player games and was irritated pretty much every time i spoke to him. i seen problems in our relationship and spoke to him about them and he basically shrugged them off. Dont get me wrong, ive never loved someone so much, everyday he told me im...
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>>16763859
Part2
i stupidly stayed friends with this guy, pretended we never kissed but eventually he started making advances again ( i am very attracted to my friend, things with my boyfriend in bed died down a lot due to his work stresses, i kept making an effort to spice things up but it always went back to >i suck him >he fucks me >he cums >i touch myself while he is hugging me and he often just falls asleep) i let him make advances and eventually i started making advances back, he wanted me not only for...
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>>16763866
Part 3
I get very emotional around my boyfriend (only person i get emotional about) i just kept crying and saying im sorry, he work friend arrived so he went to greet him, i sucked it up and played happy housewife, my boyfriend was a bit shocked by how quickly i calmed myself. i drove them to the bar, went to visit my friend, told him i liked him too, he got very jumpy and happy. I then went home, had a shower, ate dinner then took all the medication in the house, including a fair few sedatives all while being...
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>>16763871
Part 4
i told him i only want to be with him (my boyfriend) and be happy, he later requested that i never speak to my friend again which i agreed with. i was in hospital for a few weeks under observation, my boyfriend came to visit me for 20-30mins each day after work. during this time i had been speaking to my eldest sister and she was positive that my friend had been manipulating me and spoke to me about it when i was in hospital, she convinced me he had and when he found out i overdosed and contacted me i blew...
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>want to move out
>don't want to go anywhere but Miami or la

How do I do that? I just want a normal life of working and paying rent and living with some friends. I don't want to waste my life in college or the military so don't even bother
31 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Liquidate all your belongings and save a shit ton of money primarily. You need dollar doos to keep you afloat for ~ 3-6 months living expenses in the area you are moving in. Then just plane ticket(or drive) your ass over there and get a place and hit that job search hard as a mother fucker.

On a side note, both those cities are fucking shit. Do you live in flyover ville or something that makes you long for fancy cities?
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>>16763757
I'm in mia and looking for roommates have you had a job do you have money?
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>>16763762
Isn't rent there like impossible to afford because of how high it is?

Also I live in a small northern village and I'm moving for my career and I want to take college classes on the side maybe

File: 36.png (411 KB, 640x640) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>Very basic TLDR: She says she's not ready for a relationship, but we're -basically- in a relationship and I feel like we don't spend nearly enough time together.

So, she's said pretty much from the beginning that she's not ready to commit to a relationship again. We've been getting to know one another for the past year and growing very close. We're exclusive with one another, we kiss, we call each other "babe", and there's some sexual contact (mutual masturbation, manual, blow jobs, etc.)....
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Honestly the girl you're describing sounds a lot like one of my friends. My advice is talk to her, it's not pressuring her to talk about what you expect in a relationship.
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No sex? Why?
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>>16763625
>My advice is talk to her
You know, the funny thing is that we actually talk A LOT when we have time together. We've been extremely deliberate about taking things one step at a time, and being careful not to hurt each other. Not having enough time with each other has been something I've brought up in the past, but at the time, it wasn't like a deal breaking conversation. It was mostly just a "Hey, I want to spend more time with you" conversation. Now, the...
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So my best friend and room mate just told me she's moving out, signed on a house and leaving me three months of rent and utilities to handle. She's willing to help with some of the costs, but not the full amount that she would be paying if she finished out her lease. I can't afford 3 months by myself and I don't know anyone who needs a place for only three months. I'm a straight male anon, so sucking dick for a place to stay is out. Selling drugs isn't an option.

Honestly never saw this coming. Feel so used and discarded.

Wat do?
26 replies and 6 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16763536
If her name is on the lease she has an obligation to pay for the full term. If her name isn't on the lease, well, then you're screwed.

Consider putting an ad on Craigslist. There's weirdos, but there's normal people too.
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>>16763536
sorry, i've tried looking in my crystal ball, but for some reason it won't show me your fucking contract.

so why the fuck do you think it's acceptable to ask retarded questions without reading your fucking contract first ?
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>>16763546
This - is she on it?

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Social anxiety. But I decided I was okay to take a weight training class. Going back tomorrow and I'm so scared. It's all guys in the class and mtf me. Made a thread before but now I'm hoping someone can tell me it will be alright again. School is supposed to be a safe place, right? I'll be in a smallish room full of testosterone. We will have to interact with each other. I'm afraid a lot of them will feel weird around me and none of them will want to interact with me. Especially in front of the other men.

Tell me I can do this
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>>16763317
You can do this anon
>>
If you are a mtf that can't pass as an actual girl, in a male dominated class filled with testosterone, you're going to get teased, bullied, and ridiculed.

You better get some thick skin, fagboy, because if you don't, you're going to get your little EDM-music loving ass ran right out of there.

This ain't no lifetime movie where you're a martyr or a hero for going. Grow the fuck up and just do your workout.
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>>16763333
Thank you. I really hope so. If I can manage this class I feel as though I'll be a better person.

>>16763337
Don't call me a fagboy. Do you think I'll actually be bullied? Bullying isn't supposed to happen at school. I'm really worried about the locker room too. Might not shower afterward or change or anything.

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how could elliot rodger get a girlfriend?
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By actually talking to girls. From what I've heard he expected women to take initiative, and never sought it out himself.
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>>16762482
By remaining ignorant to reality. Instead, he saw the truth of the world and he couldn't handle it. It destroyed him. There will be more like elliot Rodger when other permavirgins realize their situation and act out on it.
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>>16762482
Been white.

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Look like its used with a needle or it might just be some magical potion idk. Found it in the attic the first time i went up there. What is it?
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Drink it. If hulk mode ensues report back. Pls don't dye.
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>>16762426
Idk it has fishes in it.
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>>16762412
Maybe fluorescent dye injected into patients for imaging?

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Why is it that people think I'm an asshole when I tell jokes? Like if I make a joke in a group of 10 people, only 3 will laugh, the rest look at me like I said I killed someone.

(No they are not racial/religious/otherwise not "PC" jokes)
28 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16762325
Jailbird jokes are only understood by jailbirds. Trust me. I know what you're talking about.
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>>16762325
give examples
i want a laugh
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>>16762335
I'm not a criminal, sorry.

>>16762349
It's mostly situational/ironic humor.

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