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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1675. page
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File: 1448181034285.jpg (12 KB, 250x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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So, /adv/, any hypocondriacs here who want to share methods to "just like chill"? I'm being ultra paranoid because I'm afraid the constipation and slightly impacted colon I just got visited for two days ago might be worse than initially thought and that before the 6 days of therapy the doc prescribed me I'm going to die an explosive, brown and smelly death. Granted it already happened to me and lasted much longer, but my intestine didn't hurt that much the one time it happened two years ago.

In all seriousness though, because of a previous...
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HEY
HEY
HEY
LISTEN.

Anon, we're all going to die. Why the fuck are you worrying about what's going to kill you? Sure, prevent your death as long as you can, but it's going to happen. If you end up with an illness that cuts your life in half, fucking whatever man. You're wasting the (very short) amount of time you have on this stray blue planet worrying about the inevitable. SNAP OUT OF IT!
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>>16776502
That's why I'm worried to waste time in whatever therapy or hospital. Everyone I know gives me shit about being paranoid about my health, considering I've gone through much, much worse stuff, but I think they see it more as a "Oh you must be afraid of being hurt or dying". I'm more concerned with wasting time being hospitalized or otherwise incapacitated.
Every moment I'm not studying, learning, having fun or shitposting on my favourite chinese cartoon website feels wasted, doubly...
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>>16776562
See, that's the thing man. Waste is subjective. Your entire life is a cumulative series of good/bad/exciting/boring/etc. events. Spending time in the hospital or therapy or what have you isn't a "waste", it's just another experience.

Roll with it.

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Can I get some advice on how to safely and efficiently fist my own anus?
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Some people are dealing with very serious and painful issues can you please refrain from posting inane ramblings. Thank you.
>>
http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-78268-Hulk-Smash-Hands/dp/B000XUA6KG
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>>16776457
Holy fuck im crying

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I think i have some brain problem. I get bored very fast and lose my interest about anything. Sometimes I just look in van and I think I stop thinking. My brain goes too slowly sometimes. Any advice to improve it?

Ps. I am prety lazy.
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>>16776399
Pick up jogging every morning or exercise more often.

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Hi anon, so here's the story.
I'm in boarding school at a prestigious school and there's this guy in my class that confessed to me a few weeks ago, I rejected him while telling him that I was fine with that, that I didn't really care and that I just wanted him to act to normally afterwards and not think too much about me, the problem is, he's now stalking me even more frequently than before. He's joined our group of friends and is constantly seeking ways to spend time with me no matter what, keeps getting into my room asking me for silly things...
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I guess he is obsessed with you, it is called erotomania. If you reject him he will think that you love him but you are afraid to accept it, he thinks you are his destiny. He may be smart but he is crazy. Be careful some girls have been killed by their stalkers. I do not know how you have to deal with him.

I am stalker in recovery by the way, I can not control my thoughts over my obsession.

1) how do I know if a toe is broken or just going to bruise? It stings when I put pressure on it but when I don't it's just dull pain
2) if it is broken, how can I function well tommorow while wageslaving with a broken toe?
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Plz respond ;_;
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>>16776348
Bro, can you move your toe? Is it really swollen?

Anyway, for a confirmation, go to a doctor, schedule an x-ray. Sorry OP, not a doctor and they're the ones who can really help you right now.
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>>16776348
If it was broken, you'd know. It'd hurt like a bitch.

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Florida poorfag here, my family is being evicted and we just got a letter of a final judgment for removal of tenant all because the people in the efficiency we rented out months ago never payed their own rent
What should I do?
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Find a new place to live obviously.

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So, hear me out:

I have a problem with pornography. Not, like, an addiction where I can't think about anything else or something that's messing with my life - I look and fap maybe twice a week. But I have religious convictions that make me feel like it is an actual problem. I know a majority of you guys will/would be like "lol faggot - its just porn" but to me it's more than that. It's an awful thing, but that's besides the point.

I recently moved to a college town for school and holy crap, the number of good looking girls here...
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>>16776301
Dive inte your neurosis. There's something blocked in your sexual energy.

You're obviously smart and self aware, feels like not much more needs to be said. You'll know where to go from there.
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Why do you feel that it's such an issue anyway? Masturbation is only natural since sexual desire is literally hard coded into our brains. Besides over 95% of single men regularly jacket it would be nothing new for anyone you get in a relationship with.
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>>16776309
I often think something similar - there's something not expressed in my sexuality, but at the same time, I feel that the proper way TO express it definitely, definitely is not with pornography. I'll dive into it though, and see what I discover. I might just need to talk to someone I trust about it.

>>16776347
Like I mentioned, it's a religious conviction. Masturbation in and of itself isn't a problem - the problem is with the porn. I'm...
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Is it possible for suicide to be rational? Or is it always due to an episode of clinical depression?

I have paranoid schizophrenia, and I became completely disabled because of this illness. I take anti-psychotic medication and visit mental health professionals regularly, but medication only treats active psychotic symptoms (like delusions and hallucinations), and doesn't treat the disability caused by the disease, like the loss of social abilities, disintegration of personality and intellect, difficulty speaking, and a whole range of other symptoms for which medication...
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I go on a mental health chatroom where the majority of people are schizophrenic. Perhaps you could talk to them about these issues, since they'll understand. http://theircvillage.com/chat/

Do you have a therapist? They may be able to help you with these kinds of thoughts, as well.

The negative symptoms of schizophrenia sound incredibly frustrating to me; I have depression, and I'm very thankful that it's at least slightly treatable through antidepressants. But there really isn't any drug for negative symptoms if you're schizophrenic.

Therapy really could help, though. You should try to find a therapist with experience in treating schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders.

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>got guy best friend
>talk every day
>asked if we could chat this weekend
>he said sure
>haven't really been talking at all, tried to spark up conversation, left some messages
>hours between replies
>wanted to tell him I'm going in for surgery next week and wanted to tell him I'm not doing too hot
>got bowel...
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>>16776298
Tell him about your condition FFS, the guy's not a mind reader.
>>
even though you left some messages, he can't read your mind and know how important it is for you

>what do?

talk to a family, different friend, etc

depending on one person too much is a recipe for disaster, because sadly, they won't always be there for you
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>>16776331
Well it's not really something you just text. That and he's been doing almost everything to avoid me and gives me "OK"-short replies. I'm not a mind reader either but it tells me I should back off and not message him etc.

My ex lives with me. She does not drive. She will not cook, or clean. She has never worked in her life, she has been a stay at home mom since she was 19. I own a house and have about 10K to my name. I can't kick her out. But I can't stand living with her. She dosen't even have a checking account. Literally all she does is sit on the computer and browse facebook. If I divorce her, I'm going to loose my house and half of my $60K income for a couple of years. What would be the best way of going about this so that I can keep as much of my money as possible. Right...
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>>16776276
Holy shit get a lawyer, if you can prove she's cheating on you, that's much easier to work with.
>>
tell her that you would like to live alone and that you are willing to help her with travel costs, etc

but if she cheated on you, you can get a lawyer and use it to your advantage as the other guy said

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So I live in an apartment complex with my roommate in a 2bed1bath, and my roommate plans to move on. I heard from my landlord that she has a 1bed1bath coming up in a few months and that the weekend-landlord (some older guy) would show me the room today. I arrived at the landlord's office just outside the door and I saw an elderly couple talking with him. I was there a few minutes before the scheduled showing and so I sat down on one of the chairs just outside the office.

Then my phone vibrates. I look at it and I recognize the number is coming from the landlord's...
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Yeah, and this says a lot about that landlord. You really want to deal with that guy for the next year?
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>>16776270
>what if they have bad credit?
You should scold the landlord for not knowing his business.
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>>16776279

Thing is, he's the weekend-landlord. The normal landlord is freakin' amazing and helpful, and I already live in this apartment complex so I know what it's like living here; amazing. Indoor AND outdoor pool, fitness center, indoor parking, furnished stuff and nice neighbors, it's really nice here.

>>16776283
I was tempted to but I wasn't sure if my thoughts were right. I just got off of work and didn't get much sleep last night.

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Are there ways of becoming a slow writer to a quicker writer? I am talking pencil or pen to paper. I usually am the last person jotting down notes.
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Use cursive, omit tittles and crosses, skip over words like articles and pronouns

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Why does everybody in my life keep asking me when am I going to have children? I am just about to get married to my fiance and almost immediately we have friends and family members pecking us questions about babies and children, though most the questions are fired at me.

What should I say when they ask? They like to joke about it as well and its really awkward. I just want to focus on my new marriage first.
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>>16776253
Not until we get done having a lot of sex, that usually will shut people up.
>>
Because they want to play with babies and make use of all their child rearing knowledge.

Tell them that the bedroom upstairs is free if they want to go get started, then wink suggestively.
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>>16776255

I'll try that, thanks. Yes, I want them to shut up already, lol.

>>16776262

I already told my mom that I want to enjoy at least a few years alone with my husband before we introduce a child into it. I never wanted a large family anyway, and neither does he. But my mom keeps bringing it up and even his friends keep poking at me about when will I be using my vagoo to spit out some babies. Not literally, but you know what I mean...

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Should I confess my feelings to someone I like? Or just keep it to myself?

I have a friend. We are friends for 2 years now. She is quite the ideal girl, beautiful (like commercial model-type beautiful), funny, very outgoing, very open, and most of all she's a hardworking person. That's the thing I like about her the most. In terms of academics she always does her best even if she needs to stay so late at night, she would.

Her mindset in life is this: No boyfriend. Just focus on studies. Respect and love her parents all the time. Return the favor to her...
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you are obviously a very passive person
she is obviously a very aggressive person
you will never be with her because she dominates you
but you can earn her respect by explaining yourself and being forward
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What should I do after that? Most probably we will be classmates for more than 2 years, because our friends talked about it seriously about being classmates until we graduate.

So if everything doesn't go right I will be pretty much screwed.
>>
you are definitely stuck between a rock and a hard place
do you maintain the status quo or break it
in the end it is you that decides what path you take in life
no matter the path, you bear the consequences, good and bad, and move on

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Would you go out with a younger version of your mom?
I get many requests from
Lookalikes.
How would you feel?
Im kinda stumped
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What?
>>
Someone i like resembles.
Im confused
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Well, I will say yes. I mean it's not your mother in real life and it's not you looking for someone who looks like her.

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