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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 151. page
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Speak up about the worst lie you've ever told
17 replies and 6 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17334748
>I'm totally ok with being friends. Yeah it'd be weird if we dated.

afk having a sad
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>>17334748
everyone thinks i lost my virginity at 20. i actually lost it at 22. i fingered a girl when i was 20 but i told everyone that i fucked her.
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tell people i got pregnant because the condom broke. actually was just a dumb whore and fucked witheout condom.

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I had a group of friends in college, including a hardcore sjw. I didn't like her, but I didn't want to cause infighting so I played nice. She dropped out because she got pregnant, but I still vaguely kept up contact because we had the same friends.

Fast forward to two months ago and I'm having lunch with most of our group and our significant others. SJW friend complains about being busy with the last month of school (she's a secretary for a high school) and not having a babysitter for her daughter. My wife is generous to a fault and offered to watch her. She just had our daughter, so work was off the table. SJW is either desperate or likes my wife so she agrees.

My wife starts sitting almost daily after that. My friend's daughter is nice and cute, so I was happy with her being around. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until this weekend. She was sleeping over that weekend and I went to go check on her. She was already in her PJs with a MLP shirt. I was thing to be fatherly I guess, and asked"Is that the show girls your age are watching?" She shook her head and said "I don't know, I'm not a girl."

I thought she was just being weird at first so I asked her what she meant, and she patted her pants. I just gave her a confused look and she might have pulled down her pants enough for me to see his dick. I was really fucking confused but I scolded him for showing me. It didn't bug me to see it, but I wouldn't want my kids flashing adults. He told me his mom made him dress up like a girl because she disliked guys, including him I guess. I don't really get my friend, but the kid was casual and said he gets punished for telling people the truth.

I told my wife about it and she was weirded out too, but neither of us know if we should avoid the issue or help him deal with it. I haven't told anyone else because I'm unsure of how people would react. I haven't dealt with crazy chicks before, so I'm pretty stumped.
4 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17334726
Sounds like a case for fuckin' child protective services before that kid is permanently damaged.
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>>17334758
Yes this. That kid will grow up hating his life and have severe identity issues
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>>17334758
CPS wont step in for that shit, you realize they leave kids in horribly abusive households all the time because their hands are tied or they lack funding?

Here's my advice, don't watch this kid. How long do you think it will be before mom decides that kid must have been stare raped or mentally raped by you OP? This bitch is crazy, completely distance yourself from crazy bitch. Call CPS if you want, maybe it will help, but I have no trust in the system

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>ask friends if they want to hang out this week
>Some even approach me
>i say yes, at the moment my schedule is wide open so simply pick which night works except friday
>they all say 'okay, ill let you know what works'
>its now thursday, literally no one has picked a day

im not sure how many ways i can word this, they seem to get upset when i point it out.

it feels to me like all my plans use...
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>>17334713
Solidary bump
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>>17334713
If you know they are flakes why do you let them pick the day. here's how it should go if you want to hang out with them: "I will be here on this day at this time, come if you would like" If they don't come, fuck em have a good time by yourself and then get less shithead friends
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>>17334819

good point. generally speaking we arent 'go out' types. when we do its a specific restaurant, and its our sort of tradition we go to together.

generally speaking its just coming over to my place for a movie or a meeting on our scripts or this or that and the third. not really a 'meet me at X event if you want'.

but you still arent wrong. I tend to ask them to pick a day because it seems easier. i am open all week becuase ive decided to take a break from sex, but they're...
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I seriously need some motivation and confidence in me. I am good at what I do but I lack confidence. I can't speak when there are tons of people around why this happens and what is best solution to overcome this?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Hmmm?
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What do you mean you can't speak when there's people around?
You can't find anything you think is worth saying? Or you don't like being the centre of attention?
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I can't open my mouth. I do have things to day but this barrier in my head doesn't let me speak up when there are people around. I want to be more confident, because I have pretty good knowledge aBout what I do but this low confidence is fucking me up
:(

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This girls's birthday is next week, we are friends and I sort of have a crush on her. Any ideas on what I should do/give to her? Cheers
5 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17334698
ask her out on a date
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I'm saying this from experience:
Nothing. Just wish her a happy birthday and move on.

If you don't have the balls to ask her out, you are wasting your time with her.
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>>17334698
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpRGpWtbmLg

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Thinking about enlisting in the military, probably the navy, rather than going to college and working some boring-ass job.

Anybody with experience? Stories, advice, etc.
I'm pretty skinny but I'd work out before entering.

Bonus points for navy
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17334692
last bump :(
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Leaving for the army in a month. Join the army. Unless you like cramped spaces in the middle of the ocean
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>>17334686
>rather than going to college and working some boring-ass job.

I have bad news for you, OP. The military pays shit at the lower ranks. And in order to rank up passed E-3 you'll need to be better trained and more knowledgable than others at your rank. Which means studying. And the military is like many other jobs. Fun sometimes, boring most of the time. With that said, it's a great experience, just know what you're getting into.

I am tired of being shy so I got an idea: I will go to the nudist centre, because if I would be able to go nude in public I will beat my shyness. I want to go to sauna and pool. Any protips about being nudist and how into sauna? How to not get an erection? Do I have to jerk off 4 times in row or something?
9 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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You will not get an erection in the sauna. It's too hot for that.
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>>17334678

this is the least true thing ive ever heard.


>>17334647

jerking off definitely helps but if yo uare aroused, you are arouse.d i think the best you can do is keep a towel just to be safe, and if you cant keep it casual start thinkging about things that gross you out. lose neck skin on grandmas, really fat and ugly dudes, the smell of a toilet thats never been cleaned.

theres no exact rule to waht works, you'll learn for yourself. im...
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Here's advice, nobody gives a shit about your penis in the sauna. You can jack off ahead of time if you want, but in my experience you are unlikely to get hard. It's hot, plus this experience is about as unsexual as they come

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How do you not think about existential dread, /adv/? I hadn't even considered it until about a year and a half ago when it suddenly hit me full force. All I can think about every day is that being alive has absolutely no weight to it. I'm not even depressed or anything like that, but just feeling this way all the time has given me some really extreme sense of derealization. I've opened up to a few of my friends about it, and they've all basically said "Yeah, you'll get past it" but it just feels like there's no way to stop thinking about...
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>>17334605
your post is irrelevant, as are your thoughts on the matter. do as you please, no one cares what you do or how you feel about it. the only meaning that exists is that which you make for yourself.
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Sounds like a quarter life crisis.

The only true purpose to a human being's life is to survive and procreate.

Live and enjoy life.
>>17334649
This guy gets it.
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>>17334605
Embrace the insignificance, don't deny it. Its the most liberating thing you can do.

Realize that your life IS insignificant in the face of history plus the future. Let it liberate you. Stop fearing death and as such, don't feel like your time would be more valuable spent doing something "more".

Essentially stop looking for meaning. Better men than you have tried and found nothing.

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How do you find happiness without having a relationship?

I'm not a happy person, and people keep telling me to get a girlfriend. But I don't want one. What do I do to find happiness?
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>>17334604
Its a common misconception from onlookers to say that finding a girlfriend is a means to happiness. That is true but not the full truth.

There are two recipes for happiness: being happy with yourself and finding happiness with another.

You need the first before you can move on to the second. Look at yourself, reflect why you feel unhappy and what steps you can take to make yourself that bit more positive.
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>>17334631

Just sitting here thinking about it. I'm not happy with my job, which is something in trying to work on, but it may takes years if I can ever get a job I actually want. Honestly, work is the biggest thing for me. I want a career I care about. Nothing else matters to me. Work is the most important thing in my mind. Even tho I have a good paying job. I don't enjoy it, so I'm trying to find something better. But it's incredibly difficult and stressful. I don't know if this will ever happen..
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>>17334604
Life will always suck, but you might be able to distract yourself for a moment. Just read some nice books, listen to music or daydream about how nice it could be to be in a perfect relationship without having to go though all that trouble for real and end up beeing disappointed.
Also other things people do to distract themselves from the shitty reality: religion, drugs, porn

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I've grown up with internet pornography, and have never seen any other kind and never paid for porn before.
I'm interested in getting hold of some pornographic magazines but I don't even know where to start (not that I have started yet). Are they sold in the supermarkets? WH Smith? What is the difference between the different titles, eg Penthouse, Playboy, Mayfair, etc?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Playboy no longer features naked women.
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>>17334611
What's is purpose then?
>>
Playboy is almost softporn
Mayfair/Penthouse is harder glamour
Escort/Razzle is Slags and houswives

You can buy british mags online from Newsstand co uk
Delivery isn't much ontop of cover price and they come in plastic covering that you cant see through.

I went through a phase of ordering Mayfair for that old school nostalgia feel.

but it's weird having porno mags lying around your room in this day and age.

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So, /adv I've been hanging out quite a lot with this taken girl, a coworker which I very much like and have feelings for her. We have been together to a music festival, many times on the beach and even went out in the evening and got drunk but nothing ever happened. She often tells me that she likes me and that she finds me beautiful and for the last month we've almost exclusively talked about relationships, kids and what it would be like if we were together. From time to time, she randomly mentions her boyfriend and quite objectively points out his good and bad sides.

I...
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>>17334544
My policy: no matter how bad you want to, no matter how sure you are, no matter how much it hurts, NEVER EVER EVER TRY AND PICK UP A CHICK WITH A BOYFRIEND. Just remember, if she dumps this boyfriend to be with you, what's to stop her from dumping you for the next nice thing that comes along.

Stay friends, stay close, don't bring it to romance until she's single. You'll thank me later.
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>>17334554

You have a point there, she did also dump her first boyfriend to be with her current boyfriend. I am thinking here to give it try and see how it goes. There are endless possibilites how it might go from now on..
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>>17334581
Endless is a generous description

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Internet addiction.

How do i break this?
I spend about 8 hours a day online, but most of it is just going around in circles on news sites, saving hundreds of images, watching trash on youtube and just browsing the porn that exists, barely even watching it.I have pretty bad anxiety and depression and am always exhausted and scared to do much, so i just fall into a spiral of doing nothing online all day.

i find it more debilitating than my klonopin, or my alcohol addictions. at least with those addictions i'm up and going out of the house and living life.
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17334535
You remind me a lot of myself. Go for walks or find a new hobby. Drawing and lifting helped break my internet habits
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>>17334548
so do you just do other stuff when you get the urge to use the internet, or if you feel you were on too long u make yourself walk?
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>>17334535
Literally turn off computer and go outside.

I have just as bad internet addiction as you, this is only thing that works.

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I have a date and in case I get busy I'm worried I have a pimple on the foreskin of me penis shaft.

What cream can I use to cover it up?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17334530

tretinoin woulda killed it in a day, but its a little late to get a prescription for that. nothing you can really do. maybe buy a micro dermabrasian kit and essentially let that flatten it, deal with the puss and stuff.

maybe use this as a chance to seem stand up and just dont have sex tho
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>>17334534
My date is on Saturday
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>>17334546

you can go to a doc today, ask for tretinoin and apply it til it falls off, but its not recommended for penile use so you might have a hard time convincing your doc you really need it. id micro dermabrasian it maybe but penis pimples are tricky

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Pic unrelated.

Ok guys, I need some real advice here.

>be me
>19yr old male
>5 months ago
>live with twin brother and mother in a medium apartment which we rent from my father (divorced years ago).
>brother got himself a gf, she's autistic and should according to me be in a mental institution.

some info about brothers gf. Let's call her bgf.

>She is also from...
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Pls cont anon
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>>17334524
Be more strict with him and don't let him have his bull shit.
Alternatively, look real hard for a decent job and endure their shit in the meantime. When you get enough money, get your mom and leave them. I know it sounds horrible but you must never be a slave to someone just because they are your relative and you want to have "a family". He will come to his senses and besides, you have to save the sane part of the family (your mom and you).
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>>17334911
oh yeah, and cont

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Hey everyone , hope you're doing well this afternoon.

I got the wolf school medallion , and I really like it. Problem is , the fucking chain it self is huge !

The one on the left is the one that it came with, and it's long as hell, I'm 6 foot and the thing goes like halfway between my pec cleavage and belly button, I look like an idiot wearing it .

I added a rusted chain on the right that it's enough of a length where I can hide it under my shirt where the button up for collars starts , but then I have the real chain dangling under my...
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>>17334484
There's not a slit in the chain for you to open wider and slip out from the ring?

ps need cleavage for true measurements
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There's this weird almagamation , are you talking about the small indents of the chain where they hook onto that big circle above the medallion? It looks like it's still connected to me, just not as thick of a radius .
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>>17334551
bamp

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