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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1077. page
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Gf is coming over tonight to watch a movie and stay the night. The only problem I is that masturbated today and probably won't be able to keep my dick hard for sex. I jerked it about 4 hours ago and shes coming over in 3 hours.

What do I do? I wish I had some viagra or something
13 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16983371
get alcohol.
Make her drunk as fuck.
She won't even asks for sex or remember the night.
Crisis averted.
>>
Will she actually be disappointed if you don't have sex?
There's not really anything you can do. Either avoid sex or lie, I would not be honest about it.

I would probably do some foreplay stuff and eat her out, and tell some bullshit lie about my dick like "I'm on some meds for a temporary problem and I have weird med whiskey dick."
>>
We've been wanting to fuck lately and haven't gotten together but have made plans on what's going to happen when we do. She had plans today so I figured I'dfap today and be ready tomorrow but her plans changed so she asked if she could just come over.

Getting her drunk will just Make her hornier. I can get an erection but I usually lose it after a few minutes of sensationless sex. She's tight too so if I'm not at full mast it will stop going I'm completely.

Aww man fuck my life. I think I'm going to flake and say I fell asleep

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I'm 23 f, I broke with my boyfriend since a year and a half ago... I'm not that sociable so I'm still single but five months ago I met a boy through Tinder and had casual sex with him (I never did that in my entire life). Till there that's ok because we never talked again and then deleted the app.
A month ago I installed Tinder again and met a boy, we talked a bit the first day, we exchanged numbers but then I noticed he was acting a bit weird (asking about my family, if I wasn't online he insisted a lot like "hi!, are u there? hello? answer!"...
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and sorry for the bad english
>>
>>16983296
this is pretty common in America actually, so I'm not surprised you're not used to this if you're not from here

You're most likely safe, it's fine to feel nervous, since it's prob your first obsessive weirdo encounter.

Tbh a lot of that extra detail was unnecessary lmfao, but don't feel unsafe, you're fine
>>
>>16983485
yeah I guess it was unnecessary, I'm really sorry but I was very nervous... and yes, I've never been through this creepy situation. Is it really that normal?

I guess I'm safe because he doesn't know anything about me... you think he's going to look for me or anything? (I changed my facebook name just in case...)

Okay guys I need you're help I cant parallel Park i'm 20 and still cant do it right its embarrassing going out on dates and giving B.S excuses to chicks about why i didn't park closer help guys
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I'm 22 and I don't know how

Bump for interest
>>
never done it
never will
>>
>>16983239
well nice to know i'm not alone

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Can I drink Alchohol daily to stop obsessive thoughts that are slowly fucking up my life?

I seem to be rather sensitive to alcohol and just a small amount makes all the worrying thoughts disappear.

It's not my first option, and I know it sounds rather stupid, but it is effective. I'm currently speaking to a psychiatrist, a therapist and my doctor and am on just Ritalin, no history of addiction and I've successfully weaned myself off SSRIs and past ADHD meds so I doubt this would become something bigger.

I'd like to go and speak to a counselor...
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13 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Why not see a psychiatrist and a therapist instead of drinking all the damned time?

SSRIs are a lot healthier for you than alcohol, lol.
>>
>>16983109
Well I am seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist.

This is the first time that I've actually had a drink outside of a party setting, just me here alone (had a few spare bottles)

I hate the side effects of SSRIs and it's an absolute living hell weaning off of them. They don't seem to be too effective for me either.

I'm asking this question mainly because I'm scared of becoming an alchoholic because I'm sure a lot of people start with "oh I'll just have one...
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Sounds like a bad idea, dude.

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I've been through two break ups over the last year and I can't stop thinking about something my first ex said about a year ago.

We weren't having sex as much and I asked her why and she said that she doesn't want to have sex because she has more self respect and that it was unattractive how badly I want to have sex with her.

That's still hurting really bad a year later and I haven't talked to her since we've broken up. I normally can keep busy and not think about it but every time I try to do homework my mind wanders back to...
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She sounds like a cunt. Weird fucking thing to say. Normally girls want to be wanted?

Don't take her shit on board, OP. Fuck her, by fucking other broads, and just try and forget by staying busy and focussing on friends. lol
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>>16983084
I've had sex with a lot of people since but it still hurts. I'm constantly busy but I can't do any homework without thinking about it.

I was in a relationship with her for four years when she said that. That was never a problem before that. I broke up with her because it hurt so bad and she didn't want me anymore.

All I ever think about is how she didn't really want me in the end.
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>>16983111
>All I ever think about is how she didn't really want me in the end.
I'm going to give you the same advice I always give heartbroken blue men like you.
>GO READ RED PILL
Everything you've ever read or heard about women is bullshit. Bullshit. Your woman proves it yet again.
>Want me want me want me blaaaaaah
>Oh it's suddenly unattractive that you want me.
This...
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How do you start a convo on facebook with a girl without sounding creepy?
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"Hi! How're you doing?"
>>
>>16983040

"heyy, I don't mean to sounds creepy, but..."

Generally works.
>>
"hey"
just make sure you've got an excuse to talk to her if the question comes up.

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So, I've never seen any parenting advice on here and I'm not even sure if this is the right board. I'm sorry if it is. Here's my problem... I am a single mom of 4 boys, the oldest is 10. I divorced their dad a couple years ago because he was extremely abusive. My 10 year old unfortunately grew up seeing his dad treat me like shit and now he is completely unruly himself. He definitely has a good side but most the time he acts like a pre-teen girl. He has a horrible attitude and is so disrespectful. I'm at a loss of what to do with him because he already...
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There might be worse places to ask for parenting advice than 4chan, but offhand, I can't think of any.

Aren't there mommyblogs for that sort of thing?
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>>16983025

probably needs a male figure in his life.

start baiting a beta provider already.
>>
yeah, i know. i just figured there are some pretty fucked up guys on here that might have gone through the same thing and they can tell me what not to do.. lmao

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I'm thinking about pulling the trigger on a Bad Dragon (pic related). I was wondering if someone could give me some idea of the different firmness options and some comparisons to other materials. I'm too lazy to buy a sampler pack, so I was hoping someone could help me decide which firmness to request.
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Depends. You a dude or a chick?
What size are you going for?
How does that size compare to your usual?
How are you going to use it?
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>>16983032
A guy, so it's for anal. I'm thinking the large, probably. For comparison, my current largest go-to is my Tantus Cisco, which has a 6" circumference and has 11" of insertability. I can take it all the way, except when I get to the end it does hurt just a little when it goes past my bellybutton.

As for using it, I will probably lay it on my bed and ride it up and down with my shins flat on the bed. I don't mind if it doesn't stay up perfectly straight. Also my bed is firm enough...
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>>16983024
you should really check out their forum, it has a lot of testimonials that would be a better resource than us

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I need some advice on how to prank Middle School Students as a substitute teacher in my mid 20s.

Stuff that won't get me fired, since it's not worth my job.
14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Give them a huge research paper (20 pages etc) and then reveal the prank at the end of class
>>
Tell them they need to write an argumentative essay about a poem or some shit. Give them half an hour. Let them do it

Then tell them loljk
>>
>>16982890
>>16982884
Subject is math. Ambushing period 1 with a "pop quiz" is a given, but the kids are narcs so I need as much variable material between classes as possible.

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Hey, I have a skill and I would like to make money off it while I am in education. I have been programming for about 7 years and would like to start writing software to make ends meet while I am at university studying.

I would write my own and sell it but its less likely to make enough money.

How would I go about doing this?
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Hi OP,

I'm not in the field, but I think it's all about networking and doing a good job so other people can refer you. Linkedin will be a big help.
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>>16982830
Yeah, it's just I'm 18 and just starting out. Connections are non-existent at the moment. Still, I have about 2 dozen decent size projects.
>>
>>16982834
Where do you live? Make connections at your university. Trust me, you won't have a problem at all. Get on that Linkedin and Github though. Those two are going to be VERY important for you in the future. Just list out your most important projects and accomplishments. Good luck, bud.

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How can I handle this or prevent it happening in the future.
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Just tough it out I've had it for years you get used to it and it can't hurt you.
>>
You need it to not literally roll around during sleep.
just give it a second to deactivate.
>>
Sleeping on your stomach helps.

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Aphex Twin cus fuck

>Spend 3 months preparing to look good, think about her every day, the way she laughs and everything. Stalkerish idealizing

>Use Internet strangers advice and end up basically asking her out without knowing her at all at first.

>No I have a bf sorry

>Turns out she does, and I was late

>Fuckingshit.jpg

>3 months later and I'm still thinking...
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She said this: "oh (or was it 'right'?) I currently have a boyfriend now, sorry.
>>
Tell me what I want to hear adv. Please? Pretty please?? :)
>>
>>16982787

Asking her out again's a stupid move. She knows you're interested, if she wants you she'll tell you.

If you're in high school, don't worry. There are plenty of girls in college to fixate over.

Keep your chin up, my dude.

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Do i get a gamecube or not?
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>>16982663
Get a Wii U and download gamecube games. If you just want a system that can play GC game disks then buy a wii because it read the GC discs in addition to wii discs.
>>
>>16982663
Nah. Wiis can play gamecube games and dolphin is probably the best put together emulator available.
>>
>>16982667

This if you're not comfortable using an emulator/ breakindalaw

>>16982669

This if you are. Dolphin is gr9 and I use it a lot.

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how do I hurt myself without dying?
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watch batman vs. superman
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>>16982650
For what purpose?
>>
Heat up a lighter and put it on tour skin. It'll be permanent, so choose a not visible zone.

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>be me
>broadcast journalism major
>final year at University
>my school sucks and demands you take pointless classes first so only now am I actually doing shit on level with what I'd be doing in my career
>only now do I get a clear picture that I fucking hate this and never want this as a job
>on top of this I genuinely suck at it (maybe partly because I don't want to do it)
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>>16982451
There's no aspect of broadcast journalism that interests you? Like directing, or writing, or something technical like editing or camera work?
>>
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>>16982468
I love to write. Right now I work for a small gaming website writing up articles if I get some free time. Working for a place like IGN or GameSpot or writing for men's health would be my dream jobs, but I imagine the possibility of that to be pretty small. Making videos is enjoyable too, but, at least according to my main professor I'm god awful at it. I might be letting this professor get to me a bit because he harasses me constantly and tell a me I'll never find work, but all the same. I think I...
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>>16982451
If you hate it so much, why not change majors?

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