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I already tried /fit/ and they yelled at me because I don't wanna get swol.

Hey guys I was wondering if you guys could help me create a diet and exercise plan to lose weight AND achieve a more feminine looking body. I'm sick of being a fat fuck and it's wearing on my mental state. I'm 18 years old, 5'3", Approx 250lbs. You'd figure I'd look like a bowling ball right? For some weird reason I wear it alright aside from the fact I look like I'm melting when I take off my clothes. I have wider set shoulders and wider set hips....
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>>16988811
>5'3"
>250 lbs.
Goodness gracious. First off, your first goal shouldn't be to have a feminine body. You should focus on losing weight and being healthy, otherwise you won't live long enough to reach that goal.

Restrict yourself to a certain amount of calories a day and cut out a significant amount of sugar, salt, and fats. It doesn't have to be cold turkey, but for example if you drink soda, restrict yourself to one...
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>>16988811

I would recommend baby steps. Start off slow.

No soda. No fast food. Set a time for each meal of the day, and nothing past 7 P.M. Drink lots of water. Lots of water. Lots. Of. Water.

Go for walks. Maybe 20-25 minutes everyday. Slowly start amping up. After a couple of weeks of walking. Try jogging for 10-15 minutes.

It's a process. There are no true and tried methods. The biggest thing, and I mean it, it's to not give up. If you fuck up once, don't stop. Keep going.
>>
Obtaining the body shape demanded by society is _not_ your goal. Your goal is to eat healthier and be more satisfied with your self image.

What's your typical diet at the moment?

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Im a 20 year old female virgin, i feel gross asking this but iv been having the urge to give a guy a blow job for awhile now and i want to actually go through with it. However I want it to be an intimate moment, i dont want some random guy online or at a bar because it feels dirty and slutty and yes i know thats a little stupid but its just how i feel. Iv been thinking about it for awhile and i specifically want one of my co-workers or to a slightly lesser extent one of my friends because i feel its more comfortable and meaningfully which is a bigger turned on in an intimate sort of way. However my biggest fear is the guy bragging about it.

I want it to be just a little intimate moment between only us and the thought of them talking about it horrifies me. I dont know how i should i approach this situation. I have no sexual experience, i dont know how to approach the person with the proposition. I was thinking of getting either my friend or co-worker to drive me home and from there id bring it up, but im clueless to what exactly to say since i have no sexual experience except kissing and a big part of the turn on for me is to kind surprise him and get him turned on as much as possible. Mind you i dont want to have actual sex, i know it sounds weird but i want to keep my "virginity" for my husband, i just want to "suck a dick" and thats it

Can someone, specifically a guy tell me the honest opinion if you think my co-worker and friend would talk about it as well as how i should go about this? I can give more info if needed. I really want to "do it" but dont want my work or friends finding out because i know guys talk.

Additional details below
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>>16988762
You're a fucking retard. You're one of those half brain twits that's going to be with men who lie straight to your face and then dump you out of the blue
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>>16988781
aww...

I... i said i just wanted to experience it with someone i can be intimate with i didn't want to make it a thing or date them, the guys i like aren't even like that. I wanted to maintain my.. idk
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>>16988762

> having the urge to give a guy a blow job
> I want it to be an intimate moment
> i dont want some random guy

2nd and 3rd statements are in conflict. This is why men have problems understanding women :-D

> thought of them talking about it horrifies me
Yea, giving your coworkers random blowjobs WILL have a consequences.

So you just go and get a bf by any means and...
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Why is it so difficult to lose one's virginity?
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>>16988637

Because you're trying to do it with your dick instead of your shaved, scrubbed butthole.
>>
it's not if you're not a fat beta
>>
When you want to lose something
Don't look in the last place you lost it.
It's never there.

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When's a good day and time to walk in and ask about a job?
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>>16988627
Unsolicited calls or visits are usually best on Monday or Tuesday at 8-9:00. People aren't jaded and bogged down with shit because of the end of the day/week yet.
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>>16988627
that's not how it works anymore
>>
Any day the place is open.

They may say they aren't Hiring atm, they may tell you to apply online, they man hand you an application.

But the most important thing about job hunting is apply everywhere, except for places that you are severly underqualified for (such as applying for a place that requires a Master's/Doctorate and you don't have one) even if the job says 5 years of "whatever" experience and you only got 3, apply anyway.

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Where should I hide my sex toy when not in use? I don't have a safe, and if I did it would attract suspicion. I live with my parents by the way.
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the fucking closet? inbetween your panties you sissy
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>>16988491
My parents continue to go in my room, they'd see it. I also need to hide my panties too desu.
>>
Under your mattress, perhaps?

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How dangerous is it to have sex with a fat girl if you're a rather thin guy. I weigh like 140, and my gf says she's 250-260ish. I kinda want her to get on top, but I mean has anyone ever been hurt in this way? Has a girl ever been riding and she misses the penis one time and it gets bent or something?
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Oh man. Your in for a treat homie.
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I don't think it's really that dangerous, dude, it's just gross.

I mean, you CAN break your dick but I doubt it's particularly more likely to happen with only an extra hundred pounds or so. Certainly your weight has no bearing on whether or not it would happen, it's about the force applied to your dick.

but yeah, it's gross dude.
>>
Your a loc for letting me ride top though.

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So I've known this girl for some time,we always say 'hello' when we see each other,we go to the same school.
Im quite good loking,not poor,know how to keep a conversation but my only and biggest problem is how to start up a coversation and not look like a creep.
Any advice on starting up a conversation?;'cus once I start talking to someone Im good,just need to overcome that initial few sentences.
Any ideas how to overcome this problem?
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>>16988450
Why don't you try asking her how she is doing? Compliment her. Talk about the weather. Talk about the news. Talk about how much of a fag you are posting on 4chan boards.

>know how to keep a conversation

Then it has to start somewhere small and simple.
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>>16988468
kek
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>>16988468
It doesnt come out as creepy,if I all of a sudden just send her 'Hi,how are you/whats up?'...?

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I drink lots of water and cola every day. Cola comes cheap and are the equivalent of a cigarette- meaning it staves off hunger.

I'm hungry. A lot. Underweight, we don't get much food. The cola is amazingly cheap (~40 cents for 2 litres that lasts 1-2 days)

Diet mainly consists of carbs. Bread, rice, spaghetti. Our family is piss poor.
I am not gaining weight either. We have generally one meal a day, and the rest I occasionally just go down to make toast. We do occasionally include other things (meat, veg) in the meals. But most of the time it's...
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Obesity, severe bone damage, gastrointestinal diseases that could lead to surgery, liver and kidney failures, blood pressure issues that could lead to heart diseases.

Being poor isn't quite an excuse, veggies, water and fruits are cheap. You can always exercise for free aswell.
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>>16988439
I'm not obese- really underweight. Like a fucking skeleton.
>>
It is actually not too bad a diet in and of itself. Psychologically, eating bland food that's prepared the same day after day will kill you. Maslow's hierachy of needs puts physiological needs at the base of the pyramid - that includes food. We derive joy from food and call those who cannot derive joy from food people with eating disorders.

You won't die of scurvy any time soon, however a mostly-carb diet is inefficient (you need a lot to satisfy hunger, it 'goes down' quickly) and possibly costly financially.

I recommend that you start finding ways to supplement greens in your diet with dandelions, cat's ears and other foraged greens, sprouting beans bought in bulk (soybean and chickpea sprouts are particularly easy).

Look into hunting permits or what is acceptable to hunt in your area (rabbits, squirrels, so on and so forth).

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>Have sex with GF (second time)
>Condom is on tight
>Cum once
>Don't have any other condom so we do again using same condom without taking it out
>Came again
>I get paranoid because dick is sticky wet
I like smelled her "pussy" and the liquid on top of my dick and they were the same. The condom didn't look like it leaked since my cum wasn't coming out of...
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>>16988378
Well - you are horrifically retarded for shagging her with a used and full condom, yes.

Not much an outsider can tell, have a fun time waiting for her red companion to appear.
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>>16988402
I'm in a perpetuated state of both paranoia and bemusement. I don't even know why I thought it was a very good idea, fuck me.
>>
>used the same condom twice
How disgusting, for fucks sake. Hope she gets pregnant and you regret being an idiot the rest of your life.

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My friends keep asking me to go on a cruise or some shit with them and see a couple of concerts. I have no fucking desire to go on a cruise or see a concert. I hate concerts and I hate traveling.

One of my friends got so salty that he basically told all of our other friends to not ever do anything with me again. What the fuck? All this because I don't want to go traveling or to concerts with them. I explained to him that I don't like concerts and he is basically trying to get me to do something I hate. I would never ask him to do anything he didn't want...
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I hope your trolling.
You're friends are cool and your a loser
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>>16988359

It's the "waaa they like things I don't like and they don't like the things that I like - OMG they're such a horrible person" dumbass part of the brain.

Probably from evolutionary psychology or some shit like that where you had to fit it to show you belonged to the tribe.

Fuck it, drop the dead weight and do what you wanna do instead... chillax with people who'll live and let live rather than these "you're with us or against us" assholes.
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>>16988359
Oh man I laughed so hard through this. I don't know why, I think just the way you phrased it all. Become a comedian, fuck those jerks.

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Help me /adv/ I am having a hard time getting my head around my bf telling me he's into loli. I've had some bad experiences in my past with exs and friends who turned into creeps after telling me they were into loli and now I feel grossed out that he jerks off to drawn kids. What do I do? I told him 'whatever' but I can't help but feel he's into kids IRL now. I don't know why he's into loli and I was too scared to ask him why he likes it. Are pedophiles aften into loli's? Should I talk to him more about this issue? Should I tell him...
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>>16988353
Sex could help. Inhale helium to make your voice childish and scream "yes daddy, yes! give it to me"
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>>16988353
You should start dressing and talking like a loli

also post tits
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>>16988353
If it makes you feel this upset, talk to him about it. Voice your worries.
Nevertheless, I wouldn't be too worried. For most people there's a clear difference between 2D and 3DPD. I for one can enjoy shota, but would under no circumstances be attracted to a real kid.

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without being to judgmental, how can I solve this? What would be a best outcome without being totally ruined yet still trying to do right?

>be me - young chump, early 2000’s
>messing around, get X slut preggo
>have to move overseas
>X has baby, I fly back after delivery
>fly back across pond to work and send cash whenever
>mid 2000’s mother tries to help child, but X rejects
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>>16988346
You have never been a part of the child's life, so I think it would be appropriate for you to waive your parental rights and terminate contact.

But the kid and X's situation are roughly 50% your fault, so I can't think of a legally or morally defensible way to get out of paying the child support settlement. I hope that wasn't what you were looking for (although I'm sure plenty of angry neckbeards will be happy to tell you to tell her to fuck off, I feel pretty sure that you know that...
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>>16988346
tl;dr: you're a total asshole
>>
I recommend that you try to get some records down for whatever you have paid in the past and that you made a reasonable attempt to contact X before stopping payment.

I also recommend that you walk through with your lawyer on your finances - it is possible that the amount of child support you have been sending may be larger than what is dictated for your income.

My wife and I are taking a screen out and the metal tab at the bottom came off very easily. Did we do it wrong? Is there a better way? We mostly just pulled up and pushed out.
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eh those things break

just put the storm windows in a closet if you're worried about it falling
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>>16988251

Imagine you didn't see what you just saw. Would your question make any damn sense?

Hint: no it would not. Try clearly communicating your issue, friendo. Also tell your wife we want to see her unclothed ass.
>>
There are different ways that they're secured (mine have pivoting clips, for example) but there's one thing that all screens have in common: flimsy as fuck.

Just do your best to be gentle. Worst comes to worst, there's nothing a little bit of epoxy can't fix.

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Any bike enthusiasts here? Thinking a street bike but idk.
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>>16988245
idk man depends what you want to do with it, bmx's are hard to steal, so idk
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>>16988245
Is this your first bike?

If yes, don't blow $1000.

>Thinking a street bike but idk.

We dk either, are you ever planning on riding on grass, dirt, or gravel?
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>>16988254
It's for riding around town a lot. Going to work, school, and the like.

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My friend just got his current girlfriend of 3 months pregnant. He's an ex heroin addict felon. She's has a few DUIs, I think, and she is also an ex heroin addict, although she's still taking Suboxone, which she's been on for like 6 years now. He can't even afford his own rent, and she can't finish school now, like it matters anyway because she's flunking out. He lives in a halfway house. He already has a daughter with another baby mama, who has 3 other kids, from 3 different guys, including him. He and his current girlfriend sell weed together,...
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This thread is going to get many replies. I'd say abort it or put it up for adoption. The kid will have a crappy life if they try to keep it.
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>can poor people afford to have a child
You have the question ass-backwards OP. Poor people by definition are too poor to afford contraception, abortion or have the luxury for family planning in general. That is why poor people have so many fucking children.
>>
Poor people shouldn't have children and this will more than likely go shit up.

It's a silly question OP. I know as I am from these peoples ilk.

The child will.be just as disappointing as his irresponsible parents in the future more than likely.

Aborting is probably the choice for society and the kid.

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