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That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Katana curse” bullshit that’s going on in the anime and manga right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Suzuki Katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even overtake Ninjas with my Katana.

Japanese engineers spend years working on a single Katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest bikes known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as fast as European bikes and thrice as reliable for that matter too. Anything a BMW can do, a Katana can do better. I’m pretty sure a Katana could easily win MotoGP with a moderately experienced biker.

Ever wonder why western companies never bothered conquering Japanese bike market? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Suzuki cultists and their Katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American bikers targeted the men with the Katanas first because their racing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best bike that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better representation in pop culture. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Bike) 1d1200 Displacement 19-20 x4 Forced Induction +2 to durability and speed Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Bike) 2d1000 Displacement 17-20 x4 Forced Induction +5 to durability and speed Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the biking power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to have more impact in anime and manga, see my new stat block.