How do I seduce or bribe the author of SAO?
Take a big, fat shit on his chest.
>>138648917
I suggest stabbing him.
>>138649383
I have a serious chance at it though
>>138648917
fuck his wife in front of him
Two years of glop.
Make it to floor 100 before the plot implodes.
>>138649601
He's not married. He may even be gay.
>>138649702
would explain a few things
>>138648917
Beat Donald Trump at making anime real.
>>138649712
Like what? Besides being unmarried.
>>138649702
>He's not married. He may even be gay.
He wrote this, anon. He's definitely gay.
>Asuna's thighs
Oh man.
>"Kirito"
Fucker looks like Sinon with dyed hair. This is how you wind up in pegging doujins, Kirito.
>>138648917
>How do I seduce...the author of SAO?
I'm convinced the extent of his relationship/sexual knowledge comes from doujins he's read, so fall on his face with your butt or something. As far as he knows, that's humans' natural courtship behavior.
>Let him release two years worth of semen inside you.
> ???
> Profit.
>>138651482
One does not fall upwards, I think
>>138651675
You have to make him trip, of course. This is basic haremology.
>>138651859
That's going to be a tough one to explain to the staff and Editor-san when he comes back to the hotel completely scuffed up. They might not let him out of Japan after that.
>>138652005
Yeah, but 24 episodes later, you'll be going out with him and you'll have a beautiful family together in the epilogue.
He looks like the lone beater there.
Huh. Accel World is getting a movie, not a second season.
I guess that makes more sense.
>>138652265
Seriously speaking though, maybe he is married and is really, really good at hiding it. Or he's still looking for the Asuna of his life, someone who can appreciate him for who he is and look past the LNs.
Or he's given up as a Level 41 Archmage.
Pipe the output of SmarterChild into Text-to-Speech. Now you can both be parents to your old little AI child.
>>138653411
>Or he's still looking for the Asuna of his life, someone who can appreciate him for who he is and look past the LNs.
Asuna is too perfect to exist in 3D. But hey, girls sometimes like the "adorably awkward" type, which Kawahara seems like he'd fall into pretty easily.
>shy nerd who is either typing at a family restaurant, playing games, or road biking
I hope he is married. Writing qualities aside, he seems like a decent enough guy.
>>138654622
>>I hope he is married
It's already well-established that he's not.
>>138654622
>he seems like a decent enough guy.
but
>shy nerd who is either typing at a family restaurant, playing games, or road biking
None of those activities are fantastic for meeting women, considering the games he play (Fallout 4, Diablo III, Ultima Online, etc.). I doubt women would just chat up a guy who spends 4-8 hrs a day typing in a restaurant or stop him while he's biking to and from home. You'd have to find out his routines and favorite things to do and then accost him at them, which would be sort of creepy and stalker-ish. Kawahara seems to be into older, strong yet pure women as well, which...I don't know how he's going to find them at his age.
Say Hollow Fragment and Lost Song made more sense
