Is Christmas Cake still good on Valentines day?
>>137358044
Christmas cake is good all day every day. But the best christmas cakes are the ones who end up marrying and losing their virginity to a younger man and bringing in the bacon while her younger husband takes care of the household.
>>137358044
They're loaded with preservatives so they never expire
This thread needs more keiki
Does /a/ not like old hags anymore?
>>137360509
Keikifinds a way!
>you will never be molested by a predatory cake
>>137360818
I want to find a way with a keiki
>>137360818
A boy falls in love with a Christmas Cake.
Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with the mature woman's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the mature woman, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the cougar he called is not the same cougar he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the lady's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of CAKES.
What happened to /a/? A few months ago cake threads used to be popular.
>you will never have her
>>137358044
I want to become Mayumi's
impregnator.
>>137362672
Too many, too often. It's exhausting.
>>137361018
>tfw I'm too old to be molested by a predatory cake
I could be cougar bait I guess.
![fruit_cake1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/tY9KM9X.jpg "fruit_cake1[1].jpg")
>Christmas cake
>not lasting until the second coming of Christ
This analogy doesn't make any fucking sense.
>>137358044
Yes, but not for /a/nons
>>137358044
If you freeze it in the meantime, yes.
>>137363751
It makes perfect sense
The analogy isn't that they go bad after 25 or anything
It's that despite being perfectly good nobody wants them anymore because it's too late
It's like valentine's chocolate; it doesn't magically expire on the 15th but it still goes on the sale rack for 75% off because nobody wants it anymore.
>>137364098
Wait, is there an equivalent for valentine's chocolate?
